Actually, I should clarify. It's a tale of a city and county that share the same name: Baltimore.
To illustrate, recent news in the city:
1. Snowpocalypse! I really shouldn't go there because my ranting could quickly take up all of the space in all of the internets, but it must be said that the only way one could look at the city's response favorably was to think of Baltimore as a developing country--complete with city workers taking beer bribes to do their job and everything! If things don't improve soon, we'll have donors from Haiti coming to our rescue before we know it.
2. City school kids finally went back to school today after being out of school for nearly two weeks. Yes, they have to walk through some snow to get there, but they have a two hour delay all week to compensate them for their bravery. A parent's response to the safety of her children walking to school in "unsafe" conditions? "Get them out the house." How loving! As a side note, I find it at least mildly ironic that city officials have fretted and sweat(ed) about children walking to school in snow while they don't seem to remember that the majority of these same children start running drugs at the mature age of eleven. Call me crazy, but I really don't think snow is their biggest problem.
3. Since the city is inept at dealing with said snow, they haven't picked up our trash for two weeks. The solution this week? Get everyone to pile the bags of trash in a designated area in each neighborhood. I kid not. Apparently the city hasn’t heard about rats. Or how feisty they get in the winter. (Refer to number one while taking deep breaths.)
4. Baltimore members of a cult starved a 1-year-old child to death because he wouldn't say "amen" after prayers. The mother entered into a plea deal on the condition that it would be withdrawn if her son is resurrected. Oh. Boy. Howdy.
Current top news story in the county? New tanning restrictions require parental consent for teenage tanners.
Heh.
On the plus side, at least this didn't happen in the city. And, as the friendly public service announcement of the day, "authorities say they don't recommend using an open flame to clean off ice or snow from a roof."
I desperately hope we're not one of those couples who flee to the county after having had it with the city. But, as my classmate asked, how do we know for sure that this isn't a sign from God telling us to get out of here?
Really.
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Okay, may I vent as well? WHY why why why haven't certain lanes, like the right-hand lanes all up and down Charles, been cleared, when there is no reason (no sidewalk/parking spots/bus stop obstruction)? What in Sam Hill have the plowers and contractors been doing, especially on the days when NO ONE WAS ON THE ROAD?!?! So we wait until yesterday, when everyone goes back to work and some people go back to school, to see how it works out and then figure out where the problem areas are?!?! *PRIMAL SCREAM* I mean, I expected it to be bad, but at this point, the city's response is freaking embarrassing. And typical. Half-arsed Baltimore work ethic.
ReplyDeleteI'm out.
(Thank you.)
Sus. I miss you. Listening to (or reading) your ranting makes me wish so very much that we were closer in proximity. If this blasted snow wasn't covering every eastern state, I would be on your doorstep. Really. Good luck in your winter-wonderland. We're somehow surviving over here. Love ya!!!
ReplyDeleteEmily--anytime, my friend!
ReplyDeleteAnd, Angell, I love that hearing a rant made you miss me more. I'll keep ranting if it means you'll come out sooner!